What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

What was the worst spanking you got growing up?

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you have any attributes quirks sensitivities abilities etc that you've come to learn most people don't experience? E.g. dream with subtext or experience de ja vu regularly or know you experience life very differently from those around you etc?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”